Randomness... from a Facebook Tag

Because why not -- I'm always up for a bit of randomness. Consider yourself tagged if you want to.

1)     I will be celebrating my 20^th wedding anniversary this December.

2)     I am dressing up as a sexy witch for Halloween.

3)     It makes me sad when people say kids are too old to dress up for Halloween. I don’t think anyone should ever feel too old to dress up. It’s fun and a little costuming is good for the soul no matter how old you get.

4)     My most consistent goal over my lifetime has probably been to become more athletic than I am.

5)     When I was a kid I had a pet pig named Molly and a lamb named Sally. They both hung out with the family dogs. The lamb even chased cars.

6)     I had half my thyroid removed when I was 24 years old. I find it weird that more people don’t ask about the scar.

7)     The computer I am writing this on is 7 years old. When I bought it, I swore I wouldn’t replace it until I had finished a novel.

8)     When my kids grow up and leave home, I think I will dispose of my house and live in an RV for the rest of my life… assuming I can get the hubby to agree to my plan.

9)     I still think that one day I might like to become a park ranger.

10) I consider myself a creative person who is good with numbers too. I love me a good spread sheet and I get a kick out of charts and graphs.

11) Sometimes I do not know what I am thinking until I write it down.

12) I am trying very hard to not repeat the randomness I’ve written when I’ve done this in the past. I hope you are learning a whole new set of random facts about me.

13) I prefer eating local foods and organic foods, but I will not apologize for any shopping I do at Wal-Mart or other grocery settings. You make choices and you do your best to make ends meet. Enough said.

14) I suppose I’ve always been a believer in psychic abilities, but have been greatly skeptical when I come across people who claim to have them.

15) I recently met a psychic who told me, among other things, that I had a very long life ahead of me. Of the things we talked about, it is this piece of information that I have thought most about and I think, in some odd way, I am greatly relieved.

16) I asked my dad for a horse for my fourteenth birthday. I named her Pegasus.

17) I love to French braid hair. When I was a kid, I was always braiding hair. As an adult, I’m not as comfortable asking, but whenever I see long and lovely hair I still want to braid it.

18) I recently discovered a simple question that has helped me get through personal battles regarding motivation and focus. It is, “What would the person I am in my head do?”

19) The older I get, the more willing I am to write people off as “not worth my time and energy.” Sometimes I worry that this speaks of a pessimism about the world I did not wish to develop. Mostly I think it has freed me up to remain optimistic about the world as I want it to be.

20) I miss slumber parties. Why don’t grown-ups have slumber parties?

21) I wore my black suit on Thursday and it felt good to be in a suit. I should probably take the time to dress up more often.

22) I am a cat person, but somehow I’ve ended up with two dogs.

23) I love the moon. Sometimes I step outside late at night just to see what the moon is doing up there in the sky.

24) I know exactly how I am going to vote on Tuesday – I know every person, and my answer to every question on the ballet.

25) I am the only person left awake in my house tonight.

6 Random Things About Me

I've seen this one a few places, but I'm officially taking my tag from Todd at Quirky Outtakes.

1. Halloween is my favorite holiday. I love dressing up. It really bums me out when adults refuse to dress up or when they talk about their kids being too old for Halloween. I don't give a fig about trick-or-treat (though I won't refuse candy), I just like having an excuse to dress up.

2. I am very particular about the way my groceries are placed in the cart. I used to try to be laid back about it and just go with the flow, but as I've gotten older I have decided there are a few things in life that it is okay for there to only be one right way... and that is my way... and that's why the hubby and kids hand me items to be placed in the cart rather than tossing stuff in themselves.

3. My current "healthy" ritual is drinking a cup of green tea each morning. I put a drop of Iris flower essence in because I heard that Iris is good for creativity. I don't know if I am actually more creative, but I enjoy the ritual.

4. I blog mostly for my own benefit. Kudos to those of you who stop in once in a while to give me props. They are greatly appreciated.

5. I felt oh-about-19 for so many years that it still surprises me when I think about the fact that I now feel so much older than that. Some days I'm not sure how to feel about the recognition that I am finally one of the grown ups.

6. I love sitting in my room with the door closed, listening to the conversations my kids are having in the other room. I'm not eavesdropping, just appreciating the great people that they are and the wondrous things that go through their heads.

I will go ahead and throw out a few tags: Lory, Heather, Magoo, Marshall, Justine, Samantha (where on earth have you been, Samantha?) just to test the waters and see who is out there. Leave a comment if you play.

If you want to consider yourself tagged, too, here are the rules:

1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on the blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post.
5. Let each person know they have been tagged.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

Friday Fill-Ins #86

Dancing to the music on the radio while in the kitchen makes me eat less.

The last time I put any effort into making a meal (last night!) I nearly stuffed myself silly – it was that delicious. Tilapia, corn cakes, and locally grown peppers, onions and tomatoes!

When I drive (alone) I have conversations with myself.

I saw a homeless woman standing near the entrance of the building the first day of my first job in Houston. I saw her nearly every day after that for almost five years. She ignored everyone except for one lady in my building who always gave her food and money. I still think of the homeless woman, and the charitable woman, often.

Give me chocolate, give me a good book, give me a breezy day in a hammock.

Next week I am looking forward to “book club” (that’s what we call it so that we sound like studious moms with a mission).

And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to spending some time with the hubby, tomorrow my plans include walking for ALS and Sunday, I want to maybe catch up on my photo albums!

Friday Fill-Ins

You know you're old when it takes four days of napping to recover after getting together with old friends.

My heart is divided between writing to live and living to write.

A few days of no rain and a mowing team is what I need RIGHT NOW!

I have felt the power of living my dreams, I have known the depths of satisfaction that come from determining my own place in this world.

Gah, won't these people ever learn that life IS what you make it.

Have a piece of chocolate as soon as you can!

And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to maybe playing some poker with the family, tomorrow my plans include festivities at the Farmer's Market (and maybe mowing) and Sunday, I want to just go with the flow!

Friday Fill-Ins

1. Idle hands are not necessarily the sign of an idle mind.
   
2. I love … in the shower. Heck, I’d just love to take a shower. Why I am piddling away my time on these questions? I should be working on the bathroom!
   
3. My favorite time of the day is when whatever time of day it is. How can you place a higher value on one moment of time than another? They all pass quickly.
   
4. The last tea I drank was Oregon Chai at JavaCat. I’d like to know what makes it different from say… Kansas Chai.
   
5. I like to be outside in the early mornings and late evenings in the Summer.
   
6. My mother always said, “Patience is a Virtue,” when I was being impatient, and “Well Hells Bells,” or “Christ on a Crutch” when I had pushed her over her patient line.
   
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to working on the bathroom, tomorrow my plans include working on the bathroom and Sunday, I want to take a shower in my finished bathroom!
   

An Event to Keep me Blogging on Friday

1. For me, having to memorize things is the opposite of creativity.

2. Joshilyn Jackson's, the girl who stopped swimming, was the last excellent book I read.

3. I like fill-ins because they prompt me to think up things I might not have otherwise thought about.

4. In nature I like looking at everything; the sky, little things that crawl and spin webs, fish and birds, my kids (great to watch any kids when they are ouside exploring), new plants, flowers...

5. I haven't entirely decided who should win the US elections (and there is a good chance I won't share it with you anyway).

6. The last time I laughed with all my belly was a Smallville re-run the other night when Lionel Luther was in Clark Kent's body and he gave his (Clark's) mom a hug. "Clark! What's wrong with you?!?!?" she said.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to an early birthday dessert, tomorrow my plans include celebrating day one of being 38 and Sunday, I want to just hang with my family!

Procrastination #793

The last couple of days I've gotten up in the morning to find that my head is not at all where it needs to be. Assuming it needs to be sitting in front of the computer meeting deadlines... which it does. But sometimes I get these bright ideas. Like this morning, it felt like a good morning to see how many people could I ask to be "friends" on Facebook. (I found 7, and 3 have already responded positively, thank you very much.) Facebook made me think of MySpace, of course, so I had to go see how my "friends" on MySpace are doing. Then I had to check in on the Xanganites and blog friends in general, of course.

This connected world is a curse and a blessing, I swear.

Eventually my kids were up and wandering around the kitchen so I got another bright idea. How about I spend the morning with them and go back to deal with my deadlines later in the day? Late afternoon, perhaps, or evening. Yeah, right!

Maybe it is this summer weather contributing to my monkey mind. I've been contemplating things like spring cleaning (getting kind of late for that, no?). My stack of important stuffs on my desk is populated with household fix-it lists, 4-H projects, and a list of other fun summer distractions the kids and I have been concocting.

The afternoon came and went with an oil change for the car, a failed attempt to get the net up on the trampoline, and a trip to the vet for the dog. Talk about burning through a day.

It's now about the time I usually start thinking seriously about bed and that deadline (which is tomorrow!) remains untouched. The internal debate begins. Do I struggle with it in these evening hours which tend not to be my best? Do I get a good night's sleep and let the adrenalin of a final deadline bring me across the finish line?

Maybe I'll just check my email one last time and call it a night.

Good Info for Cat Lovers

The only way I'll ever get Rand on the dance floor.

Bubba Hubby beat me to posting this, but I'm posting it anyway. Enjoy!

Don't send a lame eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!

Thanks to Marshall Dillon for this very entertaining link. It was good for a full hour of avoiding what I really should have been doing last night!

Friday Feast

I haven't done one of these in a long time... You can feast too!

Appetizer
Which snack do you like to get when you go to the movies?
I like to get popcorn even though it almost always disappointments me. Too stale, too greasy, too salty... yet I keep getting it because that rare occasion when you get the perfect bucket of movie theater popcorn makes it all worth it.

Soup
What year did you start using the internet?
I don't know if this even counts as the internet, but we started signing on to local bulletin boards in 1990 or 1991. By 1993 (I believe), we were paying for a service, but I don't think we had true access to the World Wide Web until a couple of years later.

Salad
What is your first name in Pig Latin?
AcyTray... though I always liked RacyTay better.

Main Course
Name something you are picky about.
My socks.

Dessert
Fill in the blanks: I ____ ____ yesterday and I ____ ____ today.

I was still in my jammies at noon yesterday and I was already dressed by 7AM today.

Just a Dreamer

My son has been asking me A LOT about what I dreamed about being, when I was a kid, when I grew up… In his mind, it’s a pretty simple question. What did you want to be when you were five? What did you want to be when you were six? What did you want to be when you were seven?

My memories don’t work quite that precisely, of course. So we’ve talked a lot about the things I specifically remember wanting to be when I was young (teacher, pig farmer, president, writer) and we’ve talked a lot about the things he wants to be (inventor or all kinds of things, but especially computer games and maybe he’d like to own his own computer game store). As we talk, I start to remember other dreams I had, as well. When my dad was building on an addition, I remember sorting through the wood scraps and hammering in nails and thinking that I would like to grow up and build things. My mom and I once stopped at a Native American burial ground that had been unearthed near Manhattan. For a long time after that, I dreamed about being an archeologist.

My son and I have talked a lot about the experiences that shape our dreams and I have thought a lot about the things that change them. I was in junior high when I started thinking about being a psychologist. I spent a summer in high school volunteering at a large state institution in Beatrice, Nebraska. That was probably when I began truly forming a vision of what I thought I might be, contemplating what I would contribute to the world and what I might take away from it.

By my late teens, I had a fairly solid sense of what I wanted to be… and twenty years later I am none of those things. Not really. I always imagined that I would be a writer – weaving words in and around the fabulous things that were happening in my life, recording my experiences to share with the word. I suppose, in that sense, I am exactly what I planned… I just never really imagined the details in this order.

That’s the beauty of dreaming, I think. You can follow visions and desires without really understanding how the practicalities will turn out. I told my son I’m not done growing up. I still have dreams about what I want to be and I imagine I’ll be following those dreams for years to come. There’s really no reason for it to end, right? There doesn’t have to be a point in the road where you say, “I’ve gotten here. I’m done.”

Or maybe there is that place down the road, but I’m too far away to see it yet. One thing I do remember about being a kid was thinking that all the wondering would stop. Some day I’d know. Some day I’d understand. Some day I wouldn’t have to dream about how I’d live my life because I’d be there doing it.

Now I know that dreaming is the fun part. Living it is good too, but without the dreams, the life wouldn’t be nearly as colorful.

Spring Break?

Yes, that is snow on my lilacs. Snow!!!!







And ding-dangit -- the heater is running again. I guess we were enjoying that spring weather a little too much.

Blog Stats

So I keep running across these numbers about blogs and reader comments. One blogger suggested that personal blogs (like mine) get one comment for every 20-30 readers. I enjoy looking at my stats now and then just to see. Most of the people who regularly comment on my blog are family and close friends (and a few I’ve picked up along the internet highway) and many times my posts provoke comments via email rather than the blog, and that’s cool. I like hearing from people.

Since the blog has taken place of letters “home,” I am happy to have this way of staying in touch.

My stats currently show that the blog averages 19 visitors per day. That number kind of surprises me. I did a quick calculation of my comments, and in the last month I’ve averaged 1.1 comments per blogging day. So if you take the 20-30 readers per comment as a guideline… gee, that must make me slightly above average.

I like to look at the cities that show up on the list of where my readers have come from. Some of you think I don’t know you are reading… but I’m pretty sure I know who you are. And thanks, it means a lot to me that you take the time to stop in frequently. Then again, it might be just a coincidence that I have frequent readers from cities where I actually know people.

I also enjoy watching the search words that get people to my blog. My current favorites are “that spinny head feeling” and “see inside my house kitchen.”

Just pass me a Bud Light, please.

I didn’t watch the Super Bowl. Hubby wasn’t interested this year and it didn’t even come upon my radar till I found myself at the store that morning and saw the displays of game food. In a bizarre twist, however, I just managed to spend more time on YouTube watching Super Bowl commercials that I typically spend on television in a full week.

See those pigs flying? And you know if you read my hubby’s blog that hell hath likely frozen over…

Yes, I opted to watch the commercials without the TV.

All I can say for myself is… Bud Light, you are my beer of choice this year.

Best Commercial IMHO:

Bud Light: Rock Paper Scissors.
Most of the other Bud Light commercials made my top 10 list.

Honorable Mentions:
Chevy HHR Car Wash
Emerald Nuts, Robert Goulet (I’m a fan, I can’t help it.)
E Trade One Finger

25 Things

This is one I saved while on my blog hiatus. I don't remember where it came from, but feel free to consider yourself tagged if you want to and leave me a comment to come view your answers.

1. I've come to realize that my ex... I'm such an old-fashioned girl that I don't have an ex. I barely had a boyfriend before THE boyfriend became THE guy I married. But if you want to count past boyfriends and teenaged crushes as exs, I guess you would say that I've come to realize those people are still some of my favorite people in the world and I consider them good friends even today.

2. I am listening to... basketball game, KU vs. Iowa State... okay, I'm not really listening, it's just the noise that is on in the background. I don't typically start tuning into basketball until around March Madness time.

3. I talk... with less conviction than I write.

4. I love... my husband, my kids. The list is endless, of course. I am a loving person. I love many things.

5. My best friends... represent many things to me and looking at them as a whole I see my past, my present, my future. My best friends fill me with hope and remind me that the world is not as bad a place as it sometimes seems.

7. I lost... my mom to cancer, nine years ago last Halloween.

8. I hate it when people... claim to believe in tolerance and respect diversity, yet exist with such blinders on that they can't see that being "different" doesn't make them anymore accepting than those who believe only their way is the right way.

9. Love is... when you are not only comfortable being yourself, but you want nothing more than to remain completely yourself and to savor everything, good and bad, about the person you love.

10. Marriage is... a partnership, a team endeavor.

11. Somewhere, someone is thinking... that I must have one hell of an ego to believe anyone cares to know what I am thinking.

12. I'll always be... someone who writes.

13. I have a crush on... Jeff Goldblum... weird, I know. Also Will Smith and Christian Slater.

14. The last time I cried was because... I was trying really hard to remain calm and collected about a subject that causes me great stress. It wasn't the subject that made me cry, but the struggle to remain unaffected.

15. My cell phone... um... don't really have one of those. The family has a pre-paid tracfone that we use when necessarily. In general, I hate the idea of being attached to my phone.

16. When I wake up in the morning... I usually spend a moment or two wondering how much it would throw my groove off if I just stayed in bed.

17. Before I go to sleep at night... my book falls shut and I grouse to myself about having to search for my place tomorrow.

18. Right now I am thinking about... my son's song. He's having a conversation with himself about tiny lizards.

19. Babies are... good for cuddles and I still love to sniff their little heads. Glad I don't long for them like so many other women my age/place seem to.

20. I get on myspace... and get totally overwhelmed. I think it's a little too hip for me.

21. Today I... will stuff KAC yearbooks into envelopes and look at my writing plan for next week.

22. Tonight I will... eat chili.

23. Tomorrow I will... sleep in. Sunday is always my day to sleep in.

24. I really want... my income to greatly exceed my outgo.

25. The person who most likely to repost this is... No clue. Surprise me.

Better Late than Never!

I just found out that it is National De-Lurking week! The last day, of course, but I've grown accustomed to being late for things.

So what this means is you are not just supposed to read and click on to the next blog... read, leave a comment, let me know you've been here!

just to prove that a writer can turn any three words on a to-do list into a story... and I've avoided some important house chore, this morning, too...

Hubby had an unexpected long weekend. Well, unexpected to me. He apparently knew for at least a week or so that he didn’t have to work on Monday, but it was news to me sometime around Saturday noon.

Anyway, Saturday and Sunday were rather strange days. Thought I’d indulge myself by sleeping in, but effectively just pulled a cloud over my head for a couple of days and somehow managed to just surf without indulging in much of anything. At some point I had a conversation with hubby about how TIRED I was of this never ending to-do list… that mostly has to do with stuff that needs to be done around or done TO the house. I love my house… but dang… sometimes I hate my house.

For instance, the bathroom faucet needed replaced when we moved in. I bought the replacement and then it just sat there on the floor beside the sink for probably 4 or 5 weeks before I finally got around to doing something about it. As if it was going to jump up and… I don’t know… switch itself out?

Anyway, I took care of it a couple of weeks ago. It was a fairly painless process. At least I didn’t wait, as I did with the kitchen sink, for it to blow a gasket and spew water endlessly all over the kitchen for a night before finally installing the new one.

Another item we’d had some issues with was the shower. The knobs were grimy when we moved in. We’d cleaned them and all, but every time I used them I just kept thinking of all the strangers that had used them before us, and one was cracked and in need of replacing. So I bought replacements and installed them a couple of months ago. Only, when I bought the replacements… and took the old knobs off… I quickly realized something wasn’t right. There was a lot of cracked plastic inside the old shower knobs. The new knobs (same size) clearly did not fit well. But, I’m a spit and baling twine kind of girl and I managed to get them on… and we had water in the shower… although it was a bit of a pain in the rear to stand there fiddling with the knobs (which would turn around and around and around) to try to find the exact spot where the water wouldn’t run.

I don’t know if you get the picture, but basically we had pretty shower knobs that didn’t work correctly. Getting the water off and on was… something of an adventure. But as the weeks passed, the adventure grew. As of last weekend, it was not unusual to walk in the bathroom to find the shower dripping steadily… sometimes streaming. I, myself, was guilty more than once of just throwing my hands up and declaring, “I’m done – let the darn thing run!” as I escaped the bathroom and the shower’s steady little waterfall which could not be turned off.

So anyway… where was I? Hubby and I had a conversation about this darned list and how I was so entirely capable of putting all these little chores off. On Monday morning, he got up and told me to make a list of things I wanted to do – TODAY. So I made my list. I broke it into “house chores” and just other stuff I thought would be nice to get accomplished. Then that sweet, wonderful man proceeded to hold man hand through a number of piddly little items I’d been procrastinating.

And it’s a good thing he did, because if I had tackled the whole shower knobs issue while he had been at work, we’d likely be without water still. Here’s the thing about a spit and baling twine kind of girl… sometimes it all comes together much easier than you had anticipated… and sometimes it’s your worst nightmare revisited a dozen times over.

Lesson number one, of course, was that simply replacing the old knobs with knobs of similar size and shape is not necessarily the best course of action. The originals (as existing when we moved in) were not made to fit our plumbing. Thus, the cracked and broken stuff I found when I removed the original pair.

Lesson number two, and this was the HARD part… when removing important features of your plumbing in order to find the correct additions, especially if you intend to REPLACE said features… HANG ON TO WHAT YOU’VE REMOVED!!! I can’t emphasize this point enough. See, I removed a stem from the shower handle, in order to make sure I was purchasing knobs that fit correctly. We bought said knobs, returned home to install them… and couldn’t find that darned stem ANYWHERE. I searched pockets. I sorted through trash cans. Hubby cleaned out the car. We retraced steps. We moved furniture. Hubby returned to the store to see if I had left the part there. Eventually, replacing the stem itself seemed to be the obvious answer. Only, our plumbing is old and not just any store carries the necessary pieces. Luckily, hubby found the three dollar item at the THIRD plumber he visited.

Meanwhile, I was banging my forgetful head against a dry shower door and thinking things like, “I truly AM losing my mind.”

Once past the shower knob dilemma, however, I had a wonderfully fruitful and productive day. My to-do list, which seemed daunting Monday morning, was entirely crossed off by 3pm and I was ready to call it a day. Honestly, was thinking of going to bed when I realized I STILL had almost half a day left!

Did I mention that we can now turn our shower on AND off without any circus tricks? Hubby took off on an amazing to-do list of his own. House still has items to be dealt with, but the place is looking better and without some of the more obvious complaints. I’m still waiting to discover that original stem I misplaced. I imagine it rolling off a shelf and bonking me on the head or showing up in my sock drawer any day now.

I’ll let you know if it ever turns up.

A Rejection - Ah, Poor Me

A couple of weeks ago I received a rejection for a short story I submitted back in April. It was such a non-event that I barely cracked the SASE enough to confirm that it was, indeed, a rejection and then promptly lost the envelope in the mess of stuff that covers my desk. Most of the time I’m fairly prompt about logging and recording my every effort. Rejection notices are saved, sort of like badges of honor to prove to myself that at least I’m out there doing something.

It was this morning that I finally came across the envelope again and officially crossed that submission off my potentials list. When all is right with the world, my course of action would have been to re-read the story, likely make a few changes, and submit it elsewhere within the week. That’s how I became a published non-fiction writer. I just kept sticking it out there again and again and again.

My work with fiction is going much, much slower. And I can’t decide if it’s because the job is just harder or my heart just isn’t quite in the right place. Or maybe it’s my mind. It’s not that the stories marching through my head have ceased, but that I seem to find the distractions of life, in general, so much more pleasant to deal with right now. I’m feeling oddly lazy and without drive to do much more than observe whatever sparkly sits before me at the moment.

I wish I could describe it as being full of content, but the honest truth is that there’s something nagging me. Try as I might, I can’t get rid of this little voice that keeps telling me that sometimes slow can be too slow. Relaxed shouldn’t look like comatose. Hanging in there doesn’t mean you no longer want to climb the rope.

It was eight months ago that I threw a little tantrum because my doctor closed his office doors without any notice to his patients. I found this out from the pharmacist when I tried to refill my prescription. Instead of being a grownup about it, I decided I’d “give myself a break”. I’ve been taking a thyroid supplement for 10 years, ever since half my thyroid gland was removed surgically, and, as childish as it sounds, I’ve always resented the fact that I have to rely on medication.

Honestly, I thought I’d give myself a couple of months to cool off and then I’d find a new doctor and get on with things. But eight months have passed, and although I can tell you a dozen ways that I’ve done just fine without it, I’m most certainly not at normal operating levels, and I’m finding it hard to make excuses any longer. I keep thinking about that rejection note, which STILL isn’t in that sacred place where all little rejection notes go, and telling myself that it should have meant more. It should have produced a flurry of activity – of writing and re-writing and pushing to get just one more story complete.

It’s stupid to hesitate.

But there's another little part of me that wonders. What if I start taking thyroid medication again… and I still don’t care? What excuse will I have then?