Okay... try to remember being a kid. Let's say you are about ten. Still little and scrawny, but your mind is big. You have things to say. You wouldn't mind, once in a while, being part of the conversation that's taking place around you.
So you speak up, when it feels appropriate, and you voice your opinion. You are polite, just like your mom has always told you to be. You wait for an opening in the conversation, and even though you are feeling a little shy, you speak up and say something.
Then your mom squawks, "What?" And you try to repeat yourself, but she cuts you off before you get the words out a second time. "What?" she says again with a scowl on her face. Why does she always assume that whatever you have to say is going to be stupid?
"I can't even understand what you're saying!" she declares so that everyone in the room can hear her, including the person you were really interested in talking with.
Now, of course, you not only feel a little shy, but your face is growing red. You are embarrassed. You were just trying to join the conversation. Is that so wrong? You try to make your statement one more time, but this time you are feeling really self-concious and you end up stuttering, and your face is flaming red, and you are upset... mad at your mom... embarrassed because your message has been lost.
In a couple of years, your mom is going to wonder why you are such a surly teenager who never wants to talk to her... or any other adult in the room.
Now be the parent.
Is it really so hard to let your children have a voice? Is it really so difficult to include them in a conversation, to take their input seriously, to talk with them rather than at them?
I meet perfectly nice people all the time... who totally blow my first impressions when I witness them interact with their kids.
Just ask yourself the next time you open your mouth, "Is this the way I would speak to another adult? Is this the way a human being should be treated?"
Respect yourself, by respecting your children.
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