I was all set to simply ignore the ABC
news piece on unschooling that aired last week and its slightly
improved follow-up piece. I’m a writer, after all, and I happen to know
from experience how easy it is to latch on to a word or a key phrase and put a
spin on things to suit your own set of beliefs and experiences rather than
provide an accurate, unbiased, complete report. Then our local paper published Betsy
Hart’s commentary on the matter and I decided I’d be able to more quickly
clear my mind if I went ahead and spilled my thoughts
on the matter.
Most of those reading here know that our family homeschools
and many of you who have spent any time with me (or my kids) at all, have
probably heard me use the term unschooling. At the very least, you’ve heard me
describe unschooling in action.
It’s very disheartening to hear our very full and active
lifestyle reduced to lists of things un-done. There are times when I have even
had this difficulty with other unschoolers, though I understand the sense of
freedom and relief most converts feel upon breaking away from the traditional boundaries
of classroom thinking. It’s a choice, and for many/most it becomes a lifestyle,
a way of looking at the world and all
the opportunities available to us, as well as to our children.
Unschooling may
result in no textbooks (at least not used in the “traditional” manner), no
curricula, no tests, no grades, but the lack of these things is certainly not the meaning of unschooling, as Hart
asserts. The way we chose to live our lives is not about lack, but abundance.
My biggest gripe, however, is Hart’s leap from unschooling
to “unparenting.”
Really? If I truly had a desire to neglect my children,
wouldn’t it be easier to just put them in school for the majority of the day?
I’m sure I could find plenty of chocolate donuts to eat around here and would
enjoy the freedom of choosing my own television shows all day long rather than
having to coordinate the fulfillment of my passions with the rest of the people
who live in my house.
I do realize the above paragraph might come across as very
insulting to my friends who send their kids to school. Please know I’m not
suggesting your decision to put your kids in school is actually equivalent to
neglect, but I think everyone would agree that neglect happens in many
settings.
I know my husband sees “unparenting” every day in his job as
a legal aid lawyer. I hear teachers complain about it, probably more than anybody
else. It’s a problem, and it’s likely that it’s getting worse, but it’s
certainly not a term that can be applied across the board to unschoolers,
homeschoolers, or even public schoolers.
I wouldn’t assume, for instance, that every happy and
engaged family I come across is unschooled. Experience has shown me that there
are wonderful families/engaged parents/successful kids in many, many settings.
My experience, biased as my outlook may be, is that
unschooling parents are among the most engaged parents there are. They may be
as driven by their passions as their children are, but they work at it, too.
It’s a huge commitment, taking on the world as a classroom.
Here’s the thing I don’t see being talked about in popular
media:
Sometimes kids are content to watch a lot of television,
play a lot of video games, read a lot of books. Sometimes keeping up with their
passions is easy. Trips to the zoo, hiking, digging holes in the yard. Looking
up an enormous variety of topics online or at the library, drawing, painting,
building towers from legos or things pulled from the recycle bins: all these
things are easy. Exhausting on some days, but generally doable.
Sometimes you get bored with the daily routine or your kids
get bored and you have to get creative and expend a little extra energy to
shake things up and make things work again. (Sometimes you just admit that the
“lack” of pursuing, in whatever form it takes, feels good and must be necessary
and tomorrow will be yet another day/opportunity.)
But sometimes kids are drawn to things that really push
parents outside of their comfort zones. I know there have been times when I,
for one, feel like I could have made my
life a whole lot easier if I’d just been content to tell my kids what they need
to learn and when they need to learn it. The variety and creative approaches to
facilitating the passions of the children in unschooling families is enormous.
There are the obvious classes (yes, even school classes) and private lessons
and seeking out mentors to fill in where the parents’ own interests don’t help.
I know kids who have gotten jobs and kids who do volunteer work. I’ve seen kids
start their own businesses and kids who undertake self-study endeavors worthy
of masters degrees.
And yes, you see all these things in some public school
children, as well, which just takes me back to my point. I won’t assume all
happy and successful children are unschooled, and you shouldn’t assume my
unschooled child is neglected.
Just
for fun, trying turning homeschooling around for a moment (from The Onion,
if you have a sense of humor about these things).
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