Today was my last day on the job.

The last time I had a "last day" of work was nine years ago. Evie, now nine years old, was nine months old! I was leaving a job with a well-respected international non-profit organization. I wouldn’t say that I had a career, but I certainly had a job that paid fairly well… and I had, at the very least, tremendous benefits.

So much has changed.

Then… I was the fairly new mother of one.
Now… I am a fairly seasoned mother of three.
Then… I was leaving a city of millions (Houston) to return to my home town in Kansas (approximately 28,000)
Now… I am a temporary resident in a city that’s much larger than what I grew up in, but still has that “small town” feel.
Then… My mom was still alive.
Now… Well… she’s not.
Then… I had a 45 minute commute (when the traffic was good) for an 18 mile drive.
Now… I routinely drive 40 minutes to take my kids to playdates approximately 30 miles away.
Then… I had no qualms about giving up a job to be a full-time mom.
Now… No qualms… that much hasn’t changed. But I do wonder, I guess. What message, exactly, am I sending my kids? I hope they are getting how important they are. I hope they understand how strongly I feel about giving them this time now because I know in another ten years… they’re going to be 19, 17, 14…

It scares me a little, I guess. Thinking what my life was ten years ago and comparing it to what might be ten years from now. Has it really always been so brief? Has time really always passed this quickly?

I left this job without fanfare. They had a cake for me on Thursday. Sunday, my last day, was pretty much just another day. I ended up working it by myself because my co-worker was sick. A part of me keeps wondering if I’ll miss it at all. But another part of me keeps thinking about how I will fill that time, and I can’t imagine it’s even going to be a contest.

My three munchkins are growing up on me. There’s no stopping the changes from coming, but at least I’ll be here. I feel it already… relief at being home again.