I must be doing something right.

I’ve just started reading this book called Unconditional Parenting, by Alfie Kohn. Few parenting authors impress me much these days. Alfie Kohn, however, makes me think and challenges me in ways I really appreciate. Kohn and I have much in common, I believe, in our parenting practices. I have to be careful, however, because I find myself dwelling on aspects of my interactions with my children where I probably don’t act quite in accordance with what I believe. I get a little lazy, I guess. I get tired and crabby and I forget about connecting with my kids sometimes. Then I read someone like Kohn, and instead of being open to what he is saying I become hypercritical of myself.

I guess I was feeling especially bad today because, as I was reading the book, I felt myself slipping into this dark, negative place. It was as if all my parenting faults had been spotlighted and I suddenly couldn’t see any of the good.

I had to put the book aside to clear my head.

Later in the car, my six year old shared her “imaginings” with me. She started out calling them dreams, but explained that she wasn’t really sleeping. For a while she called them pretendings, but that word didn’t quite suit what she was trying to express.

“This is all stuff you imagined just this afternoon?” I asked.

“Yes! My imaginings.”

Her eyes lit up and she proceeded to tell me story after story, reliving all that had gone on in her head this afternoon. By the time we reached ball practice, she was breathless. She had the most beautiful smile on her face, and I was so awed by her that I thought I might actually break down and cry.

The things that go on in her imaginary world don’t really surprise me. The fact that she’s willing to share them with me so enthusiastically and openly gives me hope. Surely this is proof that the dark cloud I had collected is really not so big and bad. I must be doing something right.

…and I will continue to read the book, because I know there is much to learn there.