Loving everybody...

When my first child was born, I had this little spell (nearly passed out) where I got all dizzy and had to "rest" myself on the bathroom floor. I wasn't at all worried, I was pretty blissed about life in general and about my new baby in particular. The midwife, however, was apparently a little concerned because I remember her leaning over me and very sternly saying, "Tracy, talk to me. How are you feeling? What are you feeling?"

I told her I was feeling love. Love for everybody. Love for everything.

I suppose I am lucky to be the sort of person who feels love a lot. But there are those moments you wish you could just bottle up and save, when your bliss goes beyond just loving your kids or your spouse or that perfect little piece of time when you are cuddled under a blanket with a great book and the rain is pouring down outside.

I had a 30 minute drive home tonight that ended up being more like 50 because of what basically amounted to a torential downpour of rain. It was Mom's Night Out with the homeschool group and I went... just because I look forward to getting together with these folks and I didn't much care what the weather looked like. And even though the drive home was a bit more stressful than I would have liked, it just gave me lots of time to think about this... place I was in... where the world is just glowing with good things and I'm believing in people and goodness and... friendship. I guess that's what this is, perhaps a more appropriate term than love. But it's far reaching and it's deep... and it's wide.

Anyway, I was thinking about it and how my mood contrasts with the place I was in a couple of weeks ago, where I was fighting off these negatives and feeling so frustrated with things. I don't know if it's just as simple as connecting with people, or being open to listening, sharing, and exchanging ideas. It's hardly even comparable to the birth of a first child, or any child for that matter, but it's the same type of feeling that I was having. Maybe it has something to do with balance and harmony, being in touch, checked in, whatever...

I'm probably sounding a bit silly right now. I know I'm a little buzzed on caffeine and getting to sleep tonight will probably be an event. But life is good and I really wanted to share that with everybody. I got home to my three beautiful kids, all camped in the living room in their sleeping bags, watching the lightening through the window. Rand was waiting up for me as he always does so patiently. (He's passed me in fitpoints, by the way, and I'm even content for the moment to let him be ahead.)

Tomorrow I'll probably just chalk this up to my foo-foo entry for the week. But I'm thanking my new found friends for hanging out with me and helping me build these warm fuzzy moments. And my old friends too, who've helped me to this place many times before and I'm sure many times to come.

Good night. Here's to good dreams and better realities.