Seeking the Positive

My friend Sage (Can I call her that? I’ve met her once in real life and have been reading her blog, or her husband’s, for something like five or six years now.)… Anyway, Sage writes often about creating your own reality. It’s something I really believe in, that what we live, what we put out there in the world, is what we get back.

Perhaps that’s why my world is usually a pretty good place. I tend to see the positives in most things. Sometimes I make a deliberate choice to see the positive. It makes life easier. Dwelling on the negative only makes me… well, miserable. I guess I must believe in a yin and yang sort of balance. There is negative everywhere. Without a bad side, there can’t be a good side. So I guess I believe that the way you choose to look at things strongly affects the way things are… for you at least.

For example, a woman I once worked with would often talk about having customers “yell” at her. “Every customer has yelled at me today,” she would say. I can honestly say I have never had that experience. In fact, I would go so far as to say I have never had a day when even most or many of the customers have yelled at me. Sure, I’ve had customers that were out of sorts. I’ve even had some anger directed my way, but rarely. In general, my experience is that people are genial and friendly. You smile at someone; you get a smile back. You offer assistance; you are generally met with sincere gratitude.

Sometimes, I will admit, it occurs to me that perhaps I am overly optimistic. Everyone has their own dark cloud, I suppose, and I tend to get depressed now and then, just like anyone else. But for the most part I find that looking for and finding the positive in people is easy. And I find that there are so many wonderful people out there. There is something to admire in everyone; for some people you may just have to look a little harder.

I have a stumbling block, however. Occasionally I run across a person who just seems to exude negativity, the kind of person who has an argument for conversation, no matter how trivial or small the subject matter may be. It’s not an outlook tied to a time of the month or something you can just chalk up to a bad day. It’s like this person looks for, and manages to focus on, the negative in everything or everyone that passes. My problem, as a positive seeker, is that I can’t seem to stop seeking the positive, even when it comes to that person. I may find that spending time with such person brings me down and leaves me feeling frustrated, but then I’ll go back and I’ll try again.

The worst part is when a negative seeker draws me into their circle of influence. I may find myself carefully checking and weighing each word I say, looking for a way to redirect the conversation, and then suddenly I realize I am doing it too. I am supporting their negative view. I am bitching and moaning about the world along with them. I hate when that happens. It makes me feel weak and not myself.

I refuse to be a negative seeker.

Yet, I continue to wonder… is there any way I can get through to them? Is there a way to show them the light? If I just try hard enough, is there a way to show them the light?

We all rise and fall on the same wave. Perhaps even pessimists are necessary. After all, somebody has to balance those of us who can’t stand to be anything but overly optimistic.