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Once upon a time I was the self-proclaimed Queen of New Year's resolutions. Actually, I think a friend first called me that, but I latched on to the title and did not forget it. I not only made resolutions, sometimes spending the entire month of December analyzing and planning them, I stuck fast to them...
Those were the days of always learning something new, trying on new hats, pushing myself outside of my comfort zone... Perhaps I had a lot of becoming to accomplish.
Somewhere along the way I started slowing down. The need to create checklists of goals and accomplishments started feeling less urgent. On my list of goals for each year, "spend more time in the moment" became a common theme. I found myself skipping a year, or declaring something like "more of the same" and calling it good.
I have no desire to make a resolution these days. At least, not a year-long commitment. Not one that requires me to plot my path farther than a few steps or so ahead. I prefer the wiggle room these days. I prefer the luxury of feeling no pressure when I wake up in the morning; maybe I will accomplish a lot, maybe I will just sit with my cup of coffee and absorb every aspect of the moment. Stillness can be awesome, too.
While this means that I can't tell you when the next book will be finished and I can't even tell you which of my works-in-progress is my focus for the moment, it doesn't mean I won't continue to be industrious... writing and otherwise.
Somewhere inside my head there is a younger, more idealistic me who is a bit disappointed in my current approach to progress. She might even be accusing me of being a bit too lackadaisical. Her approach certainly served its purpose during its time. She calls now and then and I find myself pulling out my planning notebook again... but then I look up and see that the sun is shining, an interesting conversation is taking place, or a new idea for a new story has just hit me and I'm off to follow it for a while. For now, I feel the moment calling me. I don't want to be so busy looking to the future that I forget to take advantage of what the day is offering.
I am looking forward to 2014 -- all 365 glorious, unknown days of it.
published also at www.TracyMillionSimmons.com