F O U R T E E N ! ! !
This is the day I had the panic attack about while sitting with my midwife oh-so-many years ago. "How am I ever going to be the mother of a teenager?" I had cried. "What makes me think I can be a parent? What qualifications do I have? What am I doing?"
The midwife had oh-so-wisely assured me that I'd be ready when it got here. At that point in time, I was not to worry about being the mother of a teenager, because I was only the soon-to-be mother of a teeny tiny baby. A baby did not need mother-of-teen parenting skills.
I'm here now, and there's a little part of me wondering what all my fuss was about. It hasn't been so hard--at least not in the way I was worried it would be. She's as mysterious and awesome to me as she was on that first day. I've never quite gained that feeling of knowing exactly what I am doing like I expected I should, but I understand now that it's okay to remain a little befuddled, as a parent, and a lot in in awe. Moment by moment, day by day-- we've gotten by.
3/24/1996: Journal Entry
We stayed up Friday night watching the KU basketball game. (They won!) Got to bed around midnight. I did have that nesting spurt that Pat (midwife) talked about. During the second half of the game, I managed to do dishes, scrub the toilet and the bathtub, do a load of laundry, and clean the table.
(note added later: I also cut out and sewed most of a dress for myself earlier in the day... a dress that later wouldn't fit because I didn't account for my increased chest size!)
At about 1:20am, I woke up with a pretty intense contraction.
She was born at 2:12 in the afternoon. It was a very long, rainy day in Houston. We realized at some point in the late afternoon that we didn't even have phone service to call the grandparents. They had to wait for the news until the next day. The rain had apparently been bad enough to disrupt our service.
To Munchkin #1, the kid who got me started on this great adventure: